In my previous “non-running life” up until a few months ago, I was a “running hater” but only because I doubted myself, my strengths, my ability & my self-esteem. In my previous story I explained how my passion for running developed.
Fast forward just a few months later…
After running a number of 10km/15km races, I finally built the courage & determination to run & complete my very first half marathon on Sunday 15th February 2015! I neared breaking point as I reached the last 3km before the end, when a voice in my head started questioning me. “Was it worth it? All my training over months, was the sacrificing of my family time or missing out on family functions/committee meetings to train, all that sweat & tears, worth it?”
As I’ve also mentioned previously – forgive me for using her, but she is the truth in my life and inspiration for many of my achievements – I have a cerebral palsy daughter aged 10 now, Alhamdulilaah. Since her diagnosis at the age of 3 months, it was a huge adjustment for my entire family, one day a “normal life” to drastic changes in order to accommodate her life, making it as comfortable as possible for her.
For all of her existence in my life she’s been my centre point of everything. Of all my children, she has taught me to have patience, tolerance, acceptance & motivation to face anything I can due to her condition. So all I saw running my last few steps down the last hill outside that finishing line-was her beautiful face, with that infectious smile, cheering (if she could) – who knows, she possibly was cheering! Then of course also I realized the best thing about running – it is ingrained in your body once you do it.
So I ran & I ran & I ran. I made it in 2h50m, my first half marathon! And all my tears that I shed after reaching that finish line were WELL WORTH IT!! I couldn’t care what the next person’s thoughts were, I had tears of joy, thanks & gratitude and that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling since my race ended that Sunday.
If you should ask me what have I gained, my answer would be the fact that I have self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement. I DID IT!!
It’s important to know that, at the end of the day, it’s not the medals you remember but the process of it all. I’ve learnt about challenging myself and the experiences I’m sharing with other runners, those are things nobody can take away from you whether you finish in the middle or at the end. In my world right now, I am a Champion.
Looking forward to training for Two Oceans.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story with you, though I have to admit it was difficult finding the appropriate words to express my overwhelming experience.
PS: As for Mr Ridwan Wagiet, he also played a major role by inspiring me along that long road to never give up! I have so much more admiration towards this man for not leaving me behind & motivating me to keep moving. Shukran so much uncle R!!!